I hope to have my nikah around when the wedding is. When my husband wasn’t home, if there were pills in the house, regardless if they were mine or not, I’d take them. I sense this sister’s troubles may have more to do with other people’s expectations of the kind of wedding party they would like to see and attend, and whether it messes well with their calendar-year vacation and/or pre-planned weekend activities. Please don’t state your personal opinion as a fact in deen. I’ll sometimes close my eyes and just try to focus my attention on what may have happened to bring about the feeling of anxiety in that moment.

My father showed my mom verse number 49 from surah ehzaab and strictly said that I do not need to observe iddah. So I’m a revert, and I know my parents would be dead against arranging a marriage for me with a Muslim guy, let alone even letting me go to the masjid (even though i live with my great Aunt and I’m 18), so I am not sure what to do. Right before you lose your balance and your inhibitions, being intoxicated is like being at a carnival. (ii) If she finds out that at the time of Nikah, the husband had been castrated. I still had strong cravings and some withdrawal symptoms. The person who is in need isn’t always ready or able to ask for help when they need it the most. JazakAllah alkhair. There is no standing up for justice in the truest sense without both of these aspects working together, and simultaneously—at all times. To deny our brothers and sisters fair treatment, companionship, or support based on the color of their skin is delusional and self-destructive. So until this is done, the groom cannot spend time with his wife or be with her or anything like this.

Allah’s emphasis on justice leads many Muslims to worry that if they vote for a president who transgresses against another country, the fault falls on everyone who voted for him. I want this to be a lesson for my kids and other youth. Girl, you should tell him you don’t want to raise a child without a father and if that doesn’t work you should try to get some birth control. I did not want this but he used all kinds of fatawa and stories from lectures to insist it was his right and I had to comply. I would advise you to consult a scholar in your community, check with a fatwa service such as islamqa.com or contact one of the mashaikh through their Facebook page. You feel queasy and you start sweating. Furthermore, I am tired of news outlets and reporters thinking that THE ABOVE ETHNIC GROUPS, especially Arabs, Pakistanis, and Indians are the ONLY voices of Islam. Join us now in the fight against anti-Black racism, anti-Muslim bigotry, White Supremacy, and Imperialism. So provide for them and give them a gracious release.” [al-Ahzab 33:49]. It should be He may divorce her or die, and she may be a virgin who I have understood from the answers on this website that there are no restrictions between a man and a woman after the nikah, even though the marriage has not been consumated yet. I was simply answering the question you asked generally as to why Just because you’re unfamiliar with this concept does not take away the religious validity of a nikkah without the accompanying rukhsati. The meeting, however, concluded with the decision to execute Musa. Unfortunately, the sense of chivalry among the youth today is not as great as it used to be. I also had a difficult time gathering the same amount of feedback, because I began at a time when images of the murdered Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and Rayshard Brooks were still circulating social media as a constant reminder of the injustice happening all over the country, specifically the targeting Black men and women. So, there are African American Muslims who have been Muslim for generations here.

Even as an athlete, I felt rundown on a constant basis.

I even know one couple…the girl came over from India to marry a guy, and guy turns out to have a girlfriend on the side, whom he still sees and carries on with.They pretty much hoodwinked her….not that this cannot happen to men, but again stigma is stronger on women, so many feel they have one shot to get it right. He thinks I should just stay in the yard, and also thinks that Pakistan’s strict cultural beliefs are synonymous with Islam. I’m not a sheikh, but I’ve never heard of a nikkah or marriage over skype. One of the important roles Allah, the Exalted, assigned to His messengers is the task of establishing justice among the people. And the people who need to help don’t always know instinctively to reach out to their loved ones and check on them without prompting.

I would have been so tempted to go grab an alcoholic beverage. By that I mean it’s physically painful. Anything I did remember, I kept to myself out of fear of judgment and shame. done, the other one inherits from him or her, even if that is before When I wrote my contract I did so with the understanding that the contract was equivalent to an engagement and the marriage would be later after a party was held and the marriage publicized. Although I shouldnt have chatted with him in the 1st place, what is the most Islamic ally correct way to proceed from here? I recommend you discuss these matters directly with an Imam who can guide you better in your situation. That depends on you and your fiancé. I wanted to numb my feelings and feel happy, but I’d drink too fast and too much. with his wife until after the consummation has been announced, because if he They need our help. I’ve felt this too many times to count. But sometimes when I’m out, I do get tempted. Many of us have walima immediately after nikah . Very sadly, I need khula from him now due to many unavoidable reasons. better if you leave your job, and to bless you with a righteous husband who I’m 17 years old and I will be (Insha-allah) having my Nikah this December. That period lasted for three The fact that you did not know your were married is a violation of the standards of nobility and honesty in Islamic contract law even if valid under national laws. contract with ‘Aa’ishah when he was in Makkah, and he consummated the We are way more equipped to answer these questions than someone coming from outside who does not understand the subtle ins-and-outs of this country, its laws or its history. I felt as though I didn’t have anyone to turn to in order to share my past. He is our example of speaking truth to power, and the reason for Musa’s safety from Pharaoh’s plot. I recently did nikkah and planning for rukhsati in few months. I’m an African American Muslim and I grew up in the Washington, DC area. The only divorce stigma I really have is my parents wouldn’t like it. The decisions and actions of our government impacts all of us living in this country. The hadith that you mentioned is often used out of context, and misquoted. If my parents were ok, I would have no problem with marrying a widow or divorced woman.

This secret believer did not exit the government after he saw the many evil deeds of the Pharaoh’s government. Marital Relations: The Legal Status of Oral and Other Forms of Sexual Gratification, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. I can’t figure out how to tell my doctors I need help with this entire process. If it is too embarrassing to bring up in person, then please send him an email and ensure that he responds. One problem is that if some people do not know that you are legally married , then false rumor starts to spread if the spouses were seen to show affection towardseachother.

All Black Muslims are not African American. However, the customary practice of delaying the marriage consummation until after the wedding ceremony should be honored as underlined in Fatwa 88658. May Allaah guide all of us to what pleases Him and we implore Him to bless us with Paradise, the abode of honor, on the Day of Judgment; verily, He is All-Hearing and answers the supplications. Even though our environments have not reached that degree, we can still relate to the feelings of being oppressed and ostracized for our faith. This is true for all social justice work, anti-racism or otherwise, and it is true irrespective of your “work experience” and ethnic background. It is better Is there a way I can talk to him, to let me just have some time alone on nature? However, if they do choose to be intimate with each other then the full rights of the wife become due upon the husband such as the full dowry and her right for housing and sustenance. The hadith mentioned above lists three levels of engagement: Someone who was part of the military or legislative authority had a duty in front of Allah to attempt to stop the invasion with action. There are also Afro-Latinos, Caribbean Muslims, etc. who is responsible?what should wife do and if she do something wrong? But then, so is alcoholism. or it is delayed for a long time or a short time. You may find your heart softening towards him after nikah, or you may need more time than you originally thought. This is helpful, but only to a point. The majority of Muslim scholars held that they are the same in terms of the consequent implications and relevant rulings - such as entitling the wife to receive the entire dowry and to observe the due ‘Iddah and other effects. Please pray for me,my husband and our families to be successul and happy in this world and hereafter,ameen. The idea of getting drunk makes my stomach turn in knots, but when I pass a liquor store, I do check to see if it’s open. He received his Bachelors degree from Islamic University of Madinah in 1996 in Fiqh & Usool, graduating as the class valedictorian. One issue might arise; as a result of being too intimate prior to the wedding day is the power struggle between the father of the girl and her young husband. When I was collecting responses for this article what I found was that, unsurprisingly, Latino Muslims and Black Muslims have similar messages to send to the general Muslim community. After the nikkah is it permissible to do all the acts that are permissible between a husband and wife even if the rukhsati hasn’t been done? I’m an African American Muslim and I grew up in the Washington, DC area. Sometimes I’d keep the bags in my room. All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. Depending on where I am, I’ll sit down and meditate for a few minutes and notice my breathing and my body.

My family members would come to my door to give me attaya (Senegalese tea) or something. I could have fallen overboard. I couldn’t talk to my father or other family members because I was too shy and introverted; though my father was always supportive. They rely on the verdicts of the rightly-guided Caliphs in this regard which none of the Companions objected to.

(interpretation of the meaning): “And those who guard their chastity (i.e. I wonder if I’ll get the urge to go inside. i cant go to study with pregnancy nor a child alone. If the young lady still lives with her family while already living intimately the life of wife with her husband, she might have to deal with a confusion of authority situation. They said it wasn’t necessary to think about what had happened and that Allah had forgiven my past mistakes, but nobody asked me if I had any trauma, addictions,or  mental health issues. I am EXTREMELY cautious of guys online, and rarely ever do, but there was this one guy that I talked to that I really like. Inshallah You should let him go and find another man who will love you for who you truly are. So I bought a lockbox, a pill minder, and pill pouches to organize things and it helped. This man used his position to obstruct oppression, not perpetuate it. Not a single one. An all-or-nothing approach will almost always lead to nothing. Abu Yazid Dumas, IT Tech, student of religious studies, Detroit, Michigan, I want to talk about a topic that I haven’t been able to discuss openly for most of my adult life; alcohol addiction and acute substance use disorder.



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