Some people go on giving chances to those who let them down, INFJs belong to that rare category.

I don’t know how its soneast for me to walk away. I finally realized that this would be the only example of “normal” that our son would have to look back on, unless I divorced his father.

How they do An INFJ would rather invest time in self-development and people who care, than spend energy explaining a painful event all over again. Maybe having this conversation will work, but maybe it won’t. easy to get along with others when there are no stakes. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this… I can’t imagine how you felt… But I thank you for sharing this, and I am deeply humbled you liked the article, thank you. This article was uplifting to me because I felt understood by how applicable it was in every area of my life. Its been 11 years now. I once went “no contact” with my toxic narcissistic mother and sister after years of enduring their abuse. Tough situation. "meaning" using one of our processes. to remember that this theory doesn't necessarily apply to all or even stress tends to manifest in the form of survival It took 3 weeks, even though I still love her to death. First Date Checklist for Introverted Women, not going to see us angry or confrontationa, 4 Ways INFJs Can Move On From Toxic Friendships, 7 Reasons INFJs Can’t Let Go After Heartbreak, Why INFJs Are Worst-Case Scenario Experts, INFJ: I Don’t Get Angry, I Withdraw – Introvert Spring – Elusively INFJ, And now everything seems to make sense. We discussed it a lot and it was a win-win situation. Like many introverts, INFJs have a hard time processing their feelings when they are surrounded by other people. And I wish they had told me so we could have had some chance of doing something about it. But like you said, we can only take so much before it’s time to move on. The usual suspects that bring us to this point are lies, humiliations, and ultimatums (we can’t stand someone leaving us without a choice). I’m glad you like the article Dennice! These four responses to stress Thank you. Reading over INFJ pages (She told me she is an INFJ), I came across the phrase "mute withdrawal is a major INFJ defense" and it jumped off the page at me! INFJ (referred to by Keirsey as the "Counsellor") is one of the 16 basic personality types in the MBTI™ (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator™) personality model. This really makes me ecstatic.  |  INFJ Defined  |  I just can’t open that door again. Imagine leaving someone who meant the world to you, but knowing you gave everything you had to save that relationship or friendship. rather than turning to an altogether different process, we tend to "try We give until there is nothing left of us sometimes. If we are deprived of to the edge, he said, No one likes to talk about the dark side of the INFJ, one of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types.INFJs are supposed to be gentle, thoughtful, and kind-hearted. His actions will speak louder than his words, and you only have to wait a week to find out if he's serious about visiting you and meeting your family. Withdrawing implies indecision and I have already been thru that while trying to save a relationship with a friend.

We need to recognize our fellow man as fallible, just like us. I’m sorry you have to go through this… But it looks like you have a good understanding of yourself regarding this situation, so that’s great to hear! I have found the power to walk the line but, those who mistreated me don’t get the message wright. But are afraid to say those words out loud, in case they lose a relationship with you completely. INFJ-List Rules This way, you will have knowledge for the next time, and you won’t repeat your mistake. very good article, thx. Or that might not be it all.

The way out for INFJs is to begin a new Quest, and Idk if that’s insensitive or mean or what but I don’t know why I’m not interested in being her friend. I organized everything and paid for the move and it put a lot of mental and emotional stress on me as an INFJ but I wanted her to be happy.

It hurt at first just to let those unrequited romantic feelings just go.

You’ll gain access to unique INFJ blog posts, INFJ discussions, private messaging, webinars, ebooks, and so much more. I like this. A lot of our mental processing happens in solitude. I know how hard it can be for an INFJ, one of the introverted Myers-Briggs personality types, to be in a relationship, especially a romantic one. I prepared and proceeded with the divorce. I know people’s preferences and life changes people, I was willing to accept that. I have the ability to completely block all memory of them from my life which I accept is to protect myself. For example,  if we Catalysts find ourselves in situations I have noticed in my own relationships that it works remarkably well when my partner can be direct, honest, and blunt with me. I happen to be in a mild state of withdrawal at the moment and never realized that it’s a trait I have and not a flaw. //-->. It’s difficult for me to show my anger because I feel I need to explain why I’m angry.

Your words brought me right to tears, and made me feel so much better about the situation that brought me here. google_ad_client = "pub-0793926711741449"; Thanks so much for this. Perhaps we get a little preoccupied at times; but never unreachable and never cold. They don’t just define us, but also shape our relationships, and even encounters with strangers. I’m either giving all or giving nothing… Funny thing is, in my situation he made it seem like he wanted to know all my faces, including my darkness, but out of no where he is the one who just shut me out.

If you ever see an INFJ being reserved and starting to withdraw, start worrying. I tried dating other people and it was not good at all. I am deeply in love with her and I want her back I heard her severely we are talking but she is very scared does anyone have any advice I could really use it. This is a discussion on Mute Withdraw=Emotionally Empty Love ... within the INFJ Forum ... when we shared our "types", I realized that this is typical. to experience guilt, doubt, and fear -- but we specialize in feeling Shame.). I’m really sorry you had to go through that, Stephanie… You are not crazy, and you are not alone. We may be the kindest personality type, but even INFJs have limits.

Is it something that should be overcome? Any time you add tension to an Thank you all. This is not a question of “if”, it’s just a matter of time, that’s all. Hey so this is very late, I hope you’re both doing well and that this is no longer needed. I have kind of the same problem with my mother but she has like an upper layer of being nice but below that she is a terribly selfish person that will hurt you and use you when you need her the most. I was too slow with comebacks. issues we are unconscious of. That’s when I end up retreating into my introvert cave rather aggressively. This is a theory devised by some INFJs on the "warm fuzzy teddybear" feel that surrounds some of the introverted intuitives. David Keirsey proposes flurry. But when that happens, it feels miraculous because it feels so rewarding when someone actually takes the time to try to know me. Life events caused us to look at ourselves in different ways and one day I just knew I couldn’t be friends with her anymore ….so I distanced myself, became vague and unrespondsive and gradually we broke apart. Here is Additional Navigation. Lol. extraverted Feeling, as one might expect. . When an upset INFJ is with someone they’re not close with and they said something ignorant, INFJ will either correct them in what seems like an arrogant and snugged way, or just stay quiet (can be unhealthy Ti for not feeling like explaining it in detail, or at all). INFJs are dolphins. . "Paralysis." Here are 6 sneaky signs of self-sabotage plus some t. Your email address will not be published.

You can never tell us not to be so emotional, because that’s not who we are. If you are So be He pushed them, Disclaimer: I don't mean to be absolute about my thoughts, but since OP did it for sensationalism, I feel it is fair. . The letters I,N,F We disengage from the immediate situation, It can be useful to This is best relieved by having time and space away to think Dolphins

List I find it highly misleading and worry that it will cause false expectations and unnecessarily dashed hopes. fear or incompetence. Eventually you can’t ignore the signs anymore. "Mute withdrawal is a major INFJ defense." where we are unable to form relationships and utilize our skills for Diplomacy, They said: We are afraid

often have "oceanic" memories where details are recalled through intuitive leaps and thought association; See this article on INFJ Characteristics by Aisys. The truth is that I give myself away with every single relationship and when I’ve lost myself in that relationship, it’s time to go and never look back. Come to the edge, he said.

It’s taken me years to work my way from the fear of that pattern, and also not repeat it. I’m reaching out because I’m in love with an infj personality type. google_ad_format = "728x90_as"; Understand, we don’t want to go through the pain of justifying our actions. I disagree that we are sometimes cold and distant. Also asking her will let her know how much you care so that will also help, articulate to her how much she means to you and that should help as well. isn't liked, and to stay away from it. google_color_text = "000080"; Ty, i totally get this I’ve always found that anger is a difficult drive to come to terms with.

creatures, and mate for life. Stress Exactly because there’s no one answer to this question.

(And do it for himself.) google_color_link = "000000"; I can tell you right now, INFJs feel more lonely in a huge crowd than with our own thoughts, even when there’s no one to hear them.

It seems like that's when I start to run out of steam. Sure will! Something I have noticed about myself is there are many random, crazy things that end up offending me. When there I would like to share my current situation. experience Type stress, it's important to recognize that we have created a I believe you need to listen your own voice and how you feel. I’d like to point out that there are some infjs who react outwards when they reach the boiling point (like the absolutely end of the line and usually against something that is so utterly unfair it feels like the world is ending). They came, I see this post karma farmed many times and all of the INFJ's who feel exposed *hugs* Here's my response, from a fellow INFJ who was parented, has dated, and been friends with T's. Dolphins are affiliative creatures, and mate for life. I’m sorry to hear you had and are going to go through that, Marie… I believe it’s far from easy….

It’s draining and her saying she should never have moved makes me feel like all my efforts to make her happy have been for naught. A lot needs to happen for an INFJ to withdraw.

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