Of course it will be difficult moving forward as our parents are aging and I will have to interact with him on future decisions concerning them. In FL, the plaintive gets to stay in my house while i lived like a refugee for 9 days. I had been raised to acknowledge and respect her as a substitute mother, quite literally. I found this post when I was wondering of similar issues.
She took it down but she also deleted and blocked me from her public account. You’re living only once!! I suppose this is one of the hallmarks of textbook emotional abuse inflicted by one spouse onto another.
Here are a few steps for dealing with them: The first thing is to get your own expectations in order.
My sister, who I believe is a narcissist, DOES have feelings and concerns that are genuine, yes, but they only revolve around topics that are meaningful to her, i.e. I had a friend who I didn’t talk about my writing with who used to slip in comments about my abilities, such as “I guess it’s not that good, right?” even though they couldn’t possibly know, having never read anything I’d written. When I confronted her, she said that I couldn’t possibly understand how complicated her life is. Now she is trying to steal my house under the pretense that I am mentally ill…(I suffer from anxiety & depression) but I am definitely not incompetent!
An example: she has lied and said that she was coming to visit.
Your post also leaves me wondering how the rest of your Chinese side family would treat your Westerner husband.
She enjoyed taunting me with what she managed to pull off. My Dad had a few gifts in music & fixing things, but he would never teach you or allow you lessons. . while others populate Alaska (most of them in Anchorage), others are in British Columbia, and still others moved to Europe (Switzerland). I pray. We had a couple of cook-out get-togethers over the past 40-odd years. I honestly always thought I was the problem because I certainly had problems. My life will change now.
Yes, we need to feel free enough to trust people to say yes spontaneously, but to do this, we need to know how to say “no” too. The last couple of weeks have been extremely stressful for me and have included my sisters emotionally blackmailing pleas to my two sons whom she still wants to attend the wedding although her retort to my refusal of going to the wedding was ” Im glad youre not coming ” . Real self-awareness is what demonstrates a capacity for empathy. It was very difficult to come to this realization, especially the physical part, as I have always been taught by my parents that I needed to forgive and “put on a happy face.” This has caused me to feel like the “outsider” in the family for most of my adult life and often have been discounted or ridiculed for truth telling, and for being too sensitive. A person might tell you, “I never said that” when you know they did. I have only one sibling who I thought I knew well, but I really I didn’t know her at all. So sorry–it’s awful living under the shadow of them. Holy cow. Very dangerous. Does your partner pressure you to do things their way? They get very angry and start defending themselves, C. They are not happy about it but listen to critics, D. They listen to critics and try to improve themselves.
Consider a gentle approach. I can live with it–it’s better than her being in my life manipulating me & my children.
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